(This is Excellent Things!, a monthly feature in which I write about things that are excellent, or at least pretty good)
September was a real bear of a month for me in regards to mental health. Some of it was general anxiety over various pressing issues in my life (much of it involving tedious paperwork, which is second to “having to make a phone call” as the thing that causes me the most unnecessary agita), relentlessly gloomy weather, and what turned out to be low blood pressure1. But mostly it was an overwhelming sense of “What is the point of all this?”, “all this” covering everything from my creative output to showing up for my job every day to getting up at 5 a.m. three days a week for dialysis. It was bad and no good, and I’ve only just started coming out of in the past couple of weeks.
To try to keep the hounds at bay, I decided to start a monthly round-up of things that have made me happy, in the hopes that it’ll keep me from focusing so much on the things (both real and imagined) that make me unhappy. I’ve tried it before, it mostly didn’t work, but let’s face it, this entire newsletter is a tribute to my insistence on trying something that hasn’t worked in the past again, because surely this time I’ll be able to find that secret ingredient that keeps the whole thing going.
The first excellent thing of note is that, after more seven (7!!) years of recording, I finally met my dear friend and podcast co-host Patrick in person.
Though 99% of the time2 it’s gone fine, even great, meeting an internet friend in person is yet another addition to my long list of things that cause me crippling anxiety. What if we have nothing to say to each other? What if my various personality disorders come roaring to the surface? What if they won’t share an ungodly amount of mozzarella sticks with me? But my worries were all for naught: Patrick was lovely, his family was lovely, and though we did not share mozzarella sticks, we did have some incredible cod fritters (if you’re ever in the East Village drop into Miss Lily’s and get some for yourself). If you have the opportunity to meet an internet friend in person (especially one you’ve known for longer than many couples have been married), you should definitely do it, because it’s an excellent thing!
Speaking of friends, earlier this month I went back to my home territory of southern New Jersey to celebrate my ex-husband’s (one of my closest friends3) birthday. We went to a teppanyaki restaurant, where the chef cooks all the food in front of you, and I was disappointed to learn that apparently they don’t do the thing where they cook shrimp and throw it at you anymore. Presumably this is to cut down on food waste (because, honestly, most people are not very good at catching food with their mouths), but if they’re not bouncing crustaceans off customers’ heads they really need to up their game, maybe stir-frying rice while hula-hooping or something.
Regardless, if you have the opportunity to watch someone roll an egg around on a spatula without dropping it, you should definitely do it, because it’s an excellent thing!
Going back to Kill by Kill, we’re celebrating 1983 this month, with episodes on the bizarre Mortuary and the stone-cold classic Christine, and closing our fourth season next week with a loving look at “Thriller.” We also went back to Crystal Lake (again!!) with Patrick’s teenage son to see how the original Friday the 13th lands with today’s youth4. Take a moment to listen, because they’re all excellent things!
As usual late to the party, I’m catching up on Our Flag Means Death, and loving every minute of it. While I realize that most people are invested in the romance between Stede and Ed, my favorite character so far is Con O’Neill’s Izzy Hands5, as his constant “I’m surrounded by idiots” exasperation is extremely relatable. I’ve also not yet gotten on board with social media’s seemingly sudden (and very weird) dislike for Taika Waititi6: Ed, despite being a murderous, pillaging pirate, is his most appealing character since Viago in What We Do in the Shadows, and the aging heavy metal rocker wig he wears is strangely(?) attractive(??). Anyway, if you haven’t watched Our Flag Means Death yet, do so because it’s an excellent thing!
What I did manage to watch before everyone else (mostly) was Mike Flanagan’s The Fall of the House of Usher, a nasty little bit of spooky season fun that combines the work of Edgar Allan Poe with the Sackler Family. If you enjoy seeing horrible rich people getting their shit rocked in all manner of gruesome ways, this fits the bill perfectly, and features what is probably the most unspeakably attractive cast in many a moon. A standout is Mark Hamill, playing a grumpy grandpa lawyer who greets every horrible thing that happens with “ugh, what now” annoyance (again, relatable). If you’re looking for holiday-appropriate entertainment, give it a try, because it’s an excellent thing!
Like every other middle-aged person who once might have been cool for a day or two, I saw A24’s theatrical re-release of Stop Making Sense. While I did not get to experience a 50 feet tall David Byrne doing a tube man dance on an IMAX screen, even on a smaller screen it still looked and sounded crisp and clean as a whistle. Though I’ve seen it before, I was surprised anew at both (a) how fast the movie just breezes right by (playing all the hits and spending zero time on, uh, talking heads undoubtedly helps), and (b) that David Byrne only wears the big suit for two songs. If you haven’t seen Stop Making Sense yet, what the hell are you waiting for? It’s an excellent thing! While you’re at it, watch “Final Transmission,” Documentary Now’s parody of it that’s so dead-on it almost isn’t funny, but is still an excellent thing!
I mentioned a while back that after a long period of minimal brain power to devote to it it, I’ve been reading actual books again recently, and one of the best has been Julia Armfield’s Our Wives Under the Sea. A haunting combination of romance and body horror, it concerns a woman whose wife returns from an oceanic expedition a changed person. Similar in vibe to Annihilation, it’s quietly creepy and poignant at the same time, as the narrator recounts the strange (and occasionally gruesome) transition her partner goes through, while also reflecting on their relationship. While it may be hard to shake off afterward, if you’re looking for something a little different give it a try, because it’s an excellent thing!
My most basic recommendation for this month is Starbucks’ iced pumpkin cream chai latte, which is both a mouthful to say, and a delicious mouthful to drink. Since I’m getting no money to promote Starbucks, all I will say is try it, because it’s an excellent thing!
Though they probably don’t need my small potatoes help, two internet must-reads for me are Nathan Rabin’s Happy Place, and Ryan Broderick’s Garbage Day. Particularly after reading his book The Big Rewind some years ago, Nathan was one of my primary inspiration for getting into film writing, particularly from a personal angle. He’s a tireless writer, publishing something new almost every day at a pace I wish I could even half-match. As for Garbage Day, I only just discovered it recently, and I’ve been steadily going back and reading the whole thing to the beginning. Broderick writes about the increasingly bleak world of tech and the internet in a way that’s accessible and “if you don’t laugh about it you’re gonna scream” funny. Like Nathan7, his output is astonishing and inspiring, and you should read both because they are excellent things!
Finally, you ever cooked some macaroni, then mixed a little mayo, tuna fish, chopped onion and celery, and salt and pepper to taste into it? Well, you should consider it, because it’s an excellent thing!
What’s on your list for an excellent thing this past month? Share it with me here!
Which is funny, because high blood pressure was the predominant cause of my kidney failure. It would seem that, like my mood, it’s a challenge keeping my blood pressure balanced.
The one time it didn’t remains one of the most awkward experiences of my entire adult life, and thus my brain is convinced that every subsequent similar event will go the same way.
I know it sounds weird, but it’s worked out really well for us, and especially for our kiddo.
Pretty good, as it turns out.
Yes, I’m aware that he eventually becomes an antagonist, because I have a bad habit of spoiling myself on things.
As best as I can tell it seems to be based in a combination of ubiquitousness and his having the audacity to get a divorce.
I call him by his first name because he’s been on my podcast so we’re basically best friends now.