One personal consequence of the pandemic for me is that I’ve developed a full-blown addiction to Twitter. I’ve actually had a Twitter account since 2007, fairly early on in the game, but barely used it for long periods of time. Then, in 2016, which should have been the exact time most of us walked away from social media entirely, I found myself on it for increasingly longer periods, too often getting into fruitless arguments with strangers over how it was possible that Donald Trump, a man who literally had a gold toilet in his Fifth Avenue Manhattan penthouse, would represent the little people against the elites (this was, of course, before I realized that “elites” just means “Jews” in this case).
Then, when the pandemic hit, and we were all learning about COVID-19 on a second by second basis, I spent even more time on it, not arguing with people as much but doomscrolling, which wasn’t any healthier for my emotional wellbeing. When New York City was taking the brunt of COVID-related casualties, and I would hear ambulance sirens non-stop throughout the day and night, it made a morbid sort of sense to read speculation that nearly a third of the world’s population would be dead by the end of the year, or that COVID could be spread through farts, or that hospitals were so overwhelmed that people were just laying down and dying in the streets by the dozens. At least I could say that I wasn’t caught unawares by the apocalypse.
Now, nearly three years later, I’ve swung in the other direction and developed a strong distaste for people who have built a brand out of posting unverified, panic-inducing stuff like “the next COVID variation will be transmissible just by thinking about it, and cause people to explosively bleed from both eyes.” But goddammit, I’m still on Twitter, every day, using the excuse that I need it to promote my work, which is lazy and doesn’t explain why I spend so much time just reading it. I can’t break the habit, even though I know it does me no good.
Worse, my inability to kick this habit has made it so I know too much about people I don’t care about, saying or doing things that don’t affect me in any meaningful way, and repeatedly being annoyed about it. It’s like I’m playing a game of “Smell this, does it smell bad to you?” with myself, and the open Tupperware container is celebrity gossip, or whatever the latest definition of “ableism” includes.
As an example, this time a year ago I had no strong opinion either way on Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde. All I knew was that Sudeikis was an actor who starred in a popular TV show I didn’t watch. Olivia Wilde was one of seemingly dozens of attractive young actresses named Olivia, who directed a movie I did watch, and thought was fine. I don’t know that I even knew they were married. Now, without seeking any of this information out, here’s what I know about them:
They have since divorced
Sudeikis allegedly had divorce papers served on Wilde while she was doing a panel at ComicCon
Wilde at some point was in a relationship with Harry Styles, whom she met when they worked on Don’t Worry Darling together (presumably this contributed to the above mentioned divorce papers)
Florence Pugh, Styles’ co-star in Don’t Worry Darling, was supposedly so frustrated by Wilde and Styles frequently sneaking off set to smooch or read feminist theory together or whatever that she refused to participate in any of the publicity tour for the movie upon release
Something or other having to do with Shia LaBeouf that I’m still not entirely clear about
Sudeikis was reportedly once so upset about Wilde leaving their home to meet up with Styles that he laid under her car to stop her
Wilde once made Styles her “special salad” (which evidently is not a euphemism), and Sudeikis took this very personally
The recipe for the dressing on said salad came from Nora Ephron’s book Heartburn
Those of you who are reading this and smugly thinking “Gena, I have no idea what you’re talking about, I haven’t heard about any of this,” well, good job on reiterating my point. Normal people shouldn’t know about this stuff. Normal people shouldn’t have opinions on a very personal situation involving people they don’t know, based largely on third party information. But it’s par for the course when you spend an inordinate amount of time on a website that constantly feeds you actual real news, celebrity gossip, and just plain made up bullshit, in bite sized amounts and at equal levels of “you need to know this right now” importance. The whole point is that the more other people talk about something, the more you’ll be aware of it, whether you want to be or not.
I could (and do, occasionally) mute certain words so that they don’t appear in my timeline, but (a) it doesn’t always work, and (b) something else equally as dumb will pop up in its place. It’s an eternal game of Whack-a-Mole, as I wonder what sort of actual useful information has been replaced in my brain by knowing vaguely what a “Dream” or a “Charli D’Amelio” is, and it won’t stop unless either Elon Musk finally buys the whole godforsaken place, or someone just takes my phone out of my hand and smashes it with a hammer.
In the meantime, I may try making that salad dressing, it actually sounds pretty tasty. Anyway, here’s some links:
The week in Gena:
Over at Kill by Kill, we’ve come to the halfway point of our run covering Creepshow. In this episode, we’re talking “Something to Tide You Over” with filmmaker and YouTuber Patrick Willems. Patreon members got a bonus episode about the delightfully shitty heavy metal horror Black Roses.
It’s a White Ladies in Crisis crossover as Joe and I join Jenn on an episode of Good for Her, going in depth on the extremely underrated Dolores Claiborne and Gerald’s Game.
I also did a guest spot on the wonderful Nightmare on Fierce Street, talking about a personal favorite horror movie of mine, the 1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Capitalizing on the premiere of The Vow Part II, I threw together a quick list of recommended documentaries about cults, shamefully one of my favorite subjects.
Things I watched this past week, in order of how much I enjoyed them: The Exorcist, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Scanners, Dracula, The Raven. TV: Shudder’s 101 Scariest Horror Movie Moments of All Time, the first half of The Midnight Club
The week in links:
I disagree with the premise of this article, because it suggests that there may have once been a time when the Oscars were cool.
BookRiot put out a list of the 50 scariest books of all time, though don’t be fooled, most of them are not traditional horror novels, but unsettling all the same. I’ve read 12 of them, what about you?
A deep dive into why there are so many goddamn Amityville movies.
Here, have a nicely creepy story about a haunted apartment.
Finally, I don’t have to tell any of you this, but if you don’t already listen to We Hate Movies, listen to their episode on The Exorcist III, because there will be nothing funnier this year than all four of them attempting to impersonate George C. Scott.
That’s all for now, wishing you a weekend blessedly free of hot takes and salad dressing.
Yr pal,
Gena