Help, I can't stop thinking about Longlegs
Oz Perkins is a devious bastard and I think I love him.
There are two ways you can do a horror trailer: in the style of the upcoming American remake of Speak No Evil and reveal virtually everything about the plot in 2:30 minutes, or like Longlegs and reveal so little about the plot that it comes off as half a creepypasta story, and half a “one lies and one tells the truth” riddle to solve. Do you want to hold your audience’s hand, or push them into a dark room with a hearty “Good luck, asshole”?
The fascinating thing about Longlegs’ advertising campaign is that each subsequent trailer suggested something different than the last one. Maybe it was a serial killer thriller, or maybe it was religious horror, or maybe it was about a father who murders his family, or something else entirely. Even the cover art for the Fangoria issue about it is in code, and the code spells out “You’ve Got the Teeth of the Hydra Upon You,” which doesn’t explain much except that the film’s writer/director Osgood Perkins might be a fan of T. Rex.
Now having seen Longlegs, I can say that it’s all of the things I mentioned above, at least tangentially, even the T. Rex part. But none of it is straightforward, or easily explained. It is incredibly fucking weird, in a way that’s both unsettling and exciting, particularly for a horror film that’s getting wide release. I don’t think that Osgood Perkins is a fan of just T. Rex, but also of being a creepy weirdo, and I’m pretty sure I am now deeply in love with him.
Unsurprisingly, given the breathless praise Longlegs got in previews, the accusations that it was “overhyped” started rolling in as soon as it was released, as if a film is ever promoted with a pull quote describing it as “the most okayest movie ever made.” Given that horror is subjective, I’m not sure how you can question someone else’s reaction to it, but of course that’s what makes pop culture conversations so spicy and fun, amirite??
ANYWAY, is Longlegs the scariest movie I’ve ever seen? No, I think that title is still held by The Exorcist, followed by Hereditary, from which Longlegs seems to have taken some vague inspiration (certainly in one scene where a character bashes their face into a table, a scene so brutal I covered my eyes like a dumb little baby). But it is very unnerving. Some of it is overt, like Kiernan Shipka’s elliptical dialogue, which seems like some kind of code in and of itself (our boy Longlegs loves codes and riddles, get him a big puzzle book for Christmas).
There’s also, of course, Longlegs’ weird Silly Putty face and bizarre clothes (there’s a theory about this that I saw on TikTok, but I won’t share it lest it spoil anything). I’m not even sure why he’s called Longlegs, other than he says at one point that he “should have brought his long legs” with him. Maybe it’s just his name, Bob Longlegs, or Longlegs McGee, but probably not. I have no doubt that the magnificent bastard Osgood Perkins had a reason for calling the character that, and is leaving it up to the audience to figure it out.
But what’s really lingered in my mind are the little details that create such a sinister sense of time and place. I’ve been thinking about protagonist Lee Harker’s mother’s shabby granny square sweater, and how it appears to be the same one she’s wearing in a flashback 20 years earlier, just dingy and unraveling. Or her collection of not just Lee’s baby teeth, but hair and fingernail clippings1. Or the use of liminal space, in which everything is either too empty, too quiet, or both. Longlegs is the kind of movie that, as unsettling as it, I feel like I need to watch at least one more time to pick up on all the little tricks and breadcrumbs the brilliant stone fox Osgood Perkins has sprinkled about.
The reveal that Nicolas Cage was starring in it was greeted with the usual (and now very tiresome) “oh boy, here we go” response by the same people who ignore that M. Night Shyamalan’s last few movies were financially successful. Cage has been doing some of the best work of his career over the past few years, and he and my love, my light Osgood Perkins are a perfect fit. Cage elevates his scenes from merely creepy to almost funny, not “ha ha” funny but “ha ha what the fuck” funny.
Even if you haven’t seen Longlegs yet, you’ve probably seen the bit where Cage sings a song demanding to be let in, because naturally it’s become a meme of sorts. Out of context, it’s silly and funny. It’s also silly and funny in context, until you think about what it would be like if someone in real life stood very close to you and started belting out “Let me in now, and it can be nice, make me go now, and I’ll have to come back, not once, not twice, but as many times as I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE”. Not so funny now, is it, bucko??
Do I think the film suffers a little bit by explaining everything in the end? Somewhat, yeah. I was perfectly happy to ride it out all the way without understanding exactly what was happening, or why. But its cheeky coda at the very end feels like Perkins (gorgeous, magnificent) tipping a wink at the audience. He had some a good time freaking you out, and you’re not going to forget it any time soon.
I watched an interview with Osgood Perkins in which he revealed that the hair and fingernail clippings were all real, and collected from friends, acquaintances, and crewmembers. God, what a dreamboat.
The documentary series Queer for Fear was-- on the whole--pretty meh. Some episodes are better than others.
However, the episode on Psycho had a prolonged interview with Oz where he reflected on his dad and his relationship with him. It was very thoughtful and intimate. And Instantly was drawn to him for his honesty and vulnerability. I haven't been able to watch Longlegs or The Blackcoat's Daughter. But if he brings that same earnestness and intensity to his movies as he does to his own life, I am guessing I will love them too.
I think I might go see it again, something I've not done for a first run movie since (I believe) Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.