So, things are terrible, right? Maybe not on an immediate personal level (though my cat died last month, and that fucking sucked, let me tell you), but on a global scale we are doing quite poorly. Everything that the supposed fearmongers warned us about regarding Trump’s stacked Supreme Court appears to be coming true (though I don’t think even they predicted how openly corrupt Clarence Thomas would be, or how openly insane both his and Samuel Alito’s wives would be). In the most polite, non-alarmist way I can put it, Biden seemed, let’s say, underprepared for his first debate with Trump last week, and the exhaustion of the Democratic Party in general is palpable, where even their fundraising emails are starting to read like “What do you want us to do, beg?” at this point. And let’s not even get into Project 2025, which feels like some elaborate “let’s trigger the libs” joke but is apparently quite real, and very terrifying.
And this is beyond what’s become the usual at this point, like the seas boiling, more “unprecedented” weather events, grocery shopping consisting of a lot of looking at prices and letting out a hearty “Ha ha ha ha, no,” and being on the fifth or sixth (or twelfth, or forty-ninth, I’ve honestly lost count) strain of COVID.
Folks, it’s not good.
But you know what is good? Pretending nothing is wrong! Wait, no, that’s not what I mean. I mean it’s good to occasionally distract yourself from doomscrolling and pricing cyanide capsules with things like movies and TV shows, or other pleasant little diversions. Or they may not even be pleasant, they may be shows in which sweaty, sexy cooks scream at each other in a restaurant kitchen, but they still distract you from whatever latest nightmare the news is talking about. Call them…excellent things.
Not to toot my own horn (in my own newsletter, what a ridiculous idea), but Kill by Kill has been knocking ‘em out of the park lately, with episodes on the recent Abigail and Late Night With the Devil, and stone classics like Evil Dead 2, Popcorn, Body Double, and, just today, Fright Night, the movie that quickly ushered me into puberty. I’ve also been continuing to work on the monthly side project White Ladies in Crisis, with theme-appropriate episodes on The Woman in the Window and The Girl on the Train. Finally, I did a guest spot which I’m very proud of on the Bodies of Horror podcast, talking about David Cronenberg’s excellent Crimes of the Future, in which I attempt to be serious in addition to my usual goofs and japes. Check ‘em out, because they’re all excellent things!
But enough about my stuff, how about that Furiosa? Hell of a motion picture that apparently only twelve people saw in the theater. But if you didn’t get a chance to see it, it’s already available for rent, because that’s how things are now. Folks of a certain age (old) will remember when even the shittiest movies took up to a year to show up for home rental, now their home release dates are announced practically the same day as their theatrical releases, which seems like a bad idea to get people back in theaters, but what do I know, I’m not a Hollywood bigwig.
Also well worth a watch are I Saw the TV Glow and A Quiet Place: Day One, although neither of them are what’d you call a laugh riot. In A Quiet Place’s case, given current events you might not want to see a movie that’s basically about the beginning of the end of the world, but on the other hand maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if we were taken out by alien insects who can hear you if you breathe too loud. Either way, lend them your eyeballs because they’re excellent things!
I wrote about Baby Reindeer a couple weeks ago, but I’d also be amiss if I didn’t mention two other shows I greatly enjoyed, Shogun and Ripley, which is the best thing that’s ever happened to the Italian tourism industry. Combined with the stunning, crisp black and white cinematography, I’m not sure any other human beings have looked as attractive as the cast of Ripley, to the point where you could watch it with the sound off and still enjoy it. But you should put the sound on anyway, because it’s an excellent thing!
You know what else is an excellent thing? Not being married or related to Sherri Papini, the woman who faked her own kidnapping (giving it the usual racist touch by blaming it on two non-existent Latina women) because, who the fuck knows, she wanted attention or something. Perfect Wife, the new Netflix documentary about it, wants badly to be campy, in the vein of Desperate Housewives, but the story is simply too weird and sad for that, especially with the reveal at the end that before coming up with the kidnapping scheme Papini had attempted to make her children sick. We have a big problem with automatically equating “pretty, blonde, and white” with “virtuous and good,” let alone treating the disappearance of pretty, blonde, and white women as requiring more immediate urgency and attention than the hundreds of Black, Latina, and Indigenous women who go missing every year, and it’d be nice if this doc moved the dial in the other direction even the tiniest little bit. But probably not, and that is NOT an excellent thing!
But here’s an excellent thing: reading about anything else besides current events, or people’s opinions on current events. I especially can’t recommend enough avoiding the latter, because unless said opinion is from New York Times op-ed columnist Jamelle Bouie, it’s exceedingly unhelpful, and will do little except make you feel ashamed for not being in constant terror twenty-four sevs. Some recent reads for me have included Sloane Crosley’s touching Grief is for Other People, Stephen King’s newest short story collection You Like It Darker, and Griffin Dunne’s memoir The Friday Afternoon Club, all of which involve death in some way. I’m also currently reading a book about the Donner Party, and—actually, you know what, maybe don’t take my word on any of this.
Except lobster rolls. Go get yourself a lobster roll. I like Connecticut style, warm with a little butter, but if your preference is Maine style, cold with mayo, that’s fine too. Because they tend to be a bit $$$$, I usually only get one a year, in the summer, and if you can do that, maybe in a park on a day when it’s not too humid, it’s enough for a little while to make you believe that the world is still a good place, and we’re gonna be okay in the end. And that, my friends, is the ultimate excellent thing.
We have decided to spend July introducing the kiddos to Rogers and Hammerstein musicals so we started with Cinderella (the 1997 one with Brandy) and it is both excellent and delightful. A place where love conquers all in a way that is utterly earnest and without a hint of cynicism.
We may be sweating our way through a horrible heatwave because the earth is dying. But Cinderella and the Prince have found each other and Bernadette Peters flirts with Jason Alexander and all is fine for 90 minutes
Thanks for the excellent things. I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, losing a pet really sucks. I'm leaving to watch Quiet Place: Day One in a couple of hours. I Saw the TV Glow, is one I watched but didn't get around to writing a review about. Maybe I still will. I was a little disappointed. I keep meaning to get to Ripley, but now there's a Twilight Zone Marathon on so...Anyway, I appreciate you steering us away from the doom and gloom.